Shorts

So many swirling thoughts with no meat for actual posts. So you get: Shorts.

Drop Him

I would pay a lot of money right now for good way to administer eye drops. I have almost exhausted my meager cache of WWE tricks in pinning down and prying open the eyes of the Little Man for those two precious drops three times a day. And we have four days left to go

G-U-I-L-T

I went to work today while Mr. Me stayed home with our two still-feverish spawn. The Little Man has been insanely attached to me since he's been sick, so he didn't take well to the news that Dad was staying home instead of me. He tried every sneaky wile he could think of to make me stay, and I finally had to pry him off my leg and leave him in a soggy, wailing heap screaming "Mommeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey! Don' go! I neeeeeed you!" Yeesh. The guilt. It is smothering.

And then, there's a second helping.

When I arrived home, the Little Man opened the door from the house as soon as I opened my car door. "Gee, Mom, I sure was lonely without you today." It took him a couple of times to get it out right, complete with his unique Elmer Fudd-like twang, but this was his own sentence, without coaching from dad. *Sob* I'm never leaving the house again.

Curses!
Tylenol Cold with pseudoephedrine has been my highly-preferred method of cure for the common cold for years. I am appalled to discover that they're discontinuing it! The damn government passed a law to make you sign at the pharmacy counter to purchase products containing pseudoephedrine, with some sort of meth-related good intentions. That must have tanked the market for it, because Tylenol put some wussy, third-class drug in its place, slapped 'New!' on the label, stuck it on the shelves and poof! The good stuff is gone.

Waaahhhhh! Damn meddling government! Damn meth-heads! Damn corporate pharmaceutical company!

Damn stuffy nose that won't go away.

Lashing Out

The Little Man came up to me the other day with the nail clippers and said "Mom, clip my eyes." Uhhh . . . As I explained that we never use sharp things like nail clippers on eyes until we become an opthalmologist and are trained to do so, it occurred to me that he was probably referring to his eyelashes. They are insanely long and adorable. To him? Probably really annoying. And you clip hair when it gets too long, and nails. Why not these? What a BOY.

His sister, I'm sure, will immediately appreciate her good fortune in the lash department. At least I hope the Little Miss gets a little of what he's packin'. Because, seriously. . .

Pink Eye, Among Other Things

I just took my first ever eye drops for pink eye. Whee! There's a milestone I could have lived without.

I've been sick with an icky sore throat/head cold/chest cold thing for going on 4 weeks, which has completely sucked, but the pink eye thing is new. Adds something, feeling like you have gravel in your eyes all the time. Takes your mind off of struggling for breath through a solidly-clogged nose and trying to keep your lungs from flying out in a coughing fit. And swallowing through the ring of fire in your throat. Eye gravel! New! Annoying! Different!

I caught the pink eye from the kiddies, of course. The Little Miss succumbed to her first-ever cold last Wednesday, complete with copious goop issuing out of her eyes and nose. Being the loving little girl that she is, she shared with her brother and by Friday we were quite the snotty, itchy, coughy, cranky little group. Poor Mr. Me, he's had to come home to all us goopy crabby-ass people at night, and he's been pitching right in. He even took night duty last night so I could finally get a full night of sleep. That, of course, is not happening tonight as he went to bed at 5, but at least I got one night.

The kids are actually holding up pretty well. The Little Miss has been a trooper - she has barely been fussy, just looks pathetic with her little red watery eyes and nose. Occasionally she gets frustrated because she can't breathe and eat at the same time, but can ya' blame her? She finally appears to be on the mend, so I've been changing and washing linens like mad, and Clorox wiping everything that stands still because I DON'T want her or anyone else to get reinfected. It would be double super nice if Mr. Me doesn't get infected at all. He has bad eyesight and only wears contacts, so if he gets pink eye he'll essentially be blind for a week. *shudder* I don't even want to contemplate that.

The Little Man has been doing ok too, but, as the resident drama king, he must make the most of every situation. There has been a lot of "Mommy, hold me like a baby" and over-dramatic tantrums for spectacularly stupid reasons. He has been funny - he has to go "Check on Little Miss, check on her pink eye." When he gets over to her, he takes a look and says "Yep, still pink!" And, he gets mad when I tell him he has pink eye, because his eye is NOT pink, it's black. I guess it sounds more manly or something.

I worry about him, though, because he's had two or three nosebleeds every day since he got this cold. He is prone to nosebleeds, but this is kind of ridiculous. When his nose is stuffed up already, then starts bleeding, it's hard to figure out if he should blow then try to get it to clot, or not blow. It's also hard to keep those antsy little fingers out of the nose when it's bothering him which, of course, causes more bleeding. The nosebleed he had tonight lasted for an hour and a half - I was just about to call Ask a Nurse when it finally died down. If this keeps up it's definitely another call to the doctor come Monday morning. I'm going to have to put them on speed-dial.

Eh. These are the weeks where you really earn your mother's day gift.

A Foolish Day

Ahh, another April Fool's Day has past, and again, I'm older. I used to hate my birthdate, but now I think it's cool. It's on a fun minor holiday, so it doesn't interfere with any other celebration, yet it's easy for people to remember. And, I don't end up getting punked as much as you might think, even being a Fool and all.

This year, the birthday was particularly lovely. Wonderful Mr. Me took pity on me and the cold I've ended up with - and also expanded my 'queen for a day' into the whole weekend -and took the kiddies out to my folks' house Saturday evening. So I got to eat Old Shawnee Pizza with canadian bacon and sauerkraut and salad (mmmmmmmmmmmm) to my heart's content and watch chick movies before I crashed into my nice, clean, snore-free bed. AND I did not have to waken until the first birthday call at 8:30. Bliss!

I got up, threw on some clothes, and headed out to eat breakfast with the family. It was a lovely drive. I tell you, a Starbucks Cinnamon Dolce Latte, awesome tunes belting from the iPod, and perfect spring weather are the recipe for a great trip. Couple that with special birthday luck - literally, no red lights, no traffic the entire drive - and flowers and trees just blooming, hell, even baby calves cavorting in the pasture, and you have an hour of pure perfection, right there.

As I pulled up to the house the Little Man came shooting out the door. "Hey, Mom, it's your Birthday!" He drug me into the house, showed me my presents, and promptly opened them for me - a shake mixer and pack of Silpats. Yeah! He's such a good helper, especially where presents are concerned.

The Little Miss greeted me with a big ol' smile on her chubby face too, and was very cuddly. I swear the little chicken fuzz on her head grew just overnight! I had just enough time to feed her before my dad's famous biscuits & gravy appeared on the table.

After breakfast the Little Man and I went outside to play. He insisted that we go down to Grandma's pond and see Nemo, the giant koi that keeps not being dead, even though it lays on its side most of the time and lists mightily to the right when it does attemt to swim. We also discovered a huge bullfrog that we christened Finnigan that the Little Man thought was too cool. Finnigan was promptly added to the pond visitation list for the rest of the day.

The entire day enfolded along the same vein - relaxed, nice family, great food, beautiful weather, and lots of kid participation. The Little Man ended up riding home with me, and he sang me songs all the way home.

I can't wait to be 29 again next year!