Pregnancy Side Effects

I'm just into my 31st week of pregnancy and unfortunately most of the related side-effects are already in full-swing. Insomnia? Check. Heartburn? Check. Wild mood swings? Check. The pregnancy waddle (coupled with the general maneuverability of a whale)? Oh hell yeah. Oh, and I almost forgot, forgetfulness. Check that one too.

Friday we had our carpet cleaned because it really needed to happen (and I think the nesting phase is starting too). The guy was super nice and did a great job on our house, even with all the stairs (we have a split-level). So, the cleaning guy and Mr. Me told me about 154 times to be careful because the stairs were wet. And now you can totally see where this is going, right?

Pregnancy Clumsiness hit just as Cleaner Guy and Mr. Me called me out for final carpet inspection. I slipped on the first stair and glided with all the grace of a listing blimp (color commentary provided lovingly by my husband) to land on my rump on the bottom stair. I had, trying to be careful and all, kept a firm grip on the banister and it pulled my shoulder out of socket. I have thrown my right shoulder out periodically since eighth-grade basketball, so this isn't a new thing for me, but I still screamed like some creature out of Alien (again, with the color commentary) because it. hurts. like. a. motherfucker.

Those poor men. They were as white as ghosts - even the black Cleaner Guy. He was on my right side and tried to pull me up by my arm which earned him another alien-like scream (and I almost passed out). Mr. Me, thankfully, has helped my put my shoulder back in before, so they traded sides and he helped me manipulate it to the banister so I could put it back in. (Tip: if you ever throw your shoulder out, find the nearest wall/other vertical surface and slowly walk your index and middle fingers up it as far as you can reach - puts it back in place every time).

They took me outside and hovered over me for a while, which was very sweet. Mr. Me actually wouldn't let me re-enter the house and finished packing everything for our weekend trip himself. Thankfully, Little Miss started kicking really softly right after I landed, which I interpreted at the time as her way of asking if I was ok and telling me she was there. (but it may have been more of a "yo, cut it out with the adrenaline rushes, babe)

So, now we can add Various Aching Parts over 90% of the Body, and Clumsy to the list. Check, and check.