State of Mind

I'm feeling better, thanks to all of you for all your kind comments and concern. It's taken a bit, but I'm not quite as shaky as I was. I'm at least able to think about and actually talk about the medical issues without breaking down. A few people have come back with positive stories about friend-of-a-friends, which have helped too (though, honestly, one little pessimistic voice in the back of my head wonders if that makes our odds worse...). I do get insanely pissed off when I have talked to the few people who seem to think "it's no big deal," But mostly everyone has been lovely and supportive.

We've been doing quite a bit of research, both online and by talking to doctors. I'm the type that has to know everything I possibly can before making big decisions, so it's soothing to find every new nugget we can, even though sometimes they're unpleasant. I think we've settled on a delivery hospital and transferring the baby for surgery, but I still need to talk to the neonatologist and surgical office before we make the final decisions.

I've now become a human lab rat-my wonderful doctor is being overly cautious, so I'm scheduled for tests upon tests upon appointments upon tests. I think there will be a permanent bruise on my arm from the vampires in the lab.

I am noticing the effects of the polyhydramnios because I don't recall the 7th month of my last pregnancy being nearly this arduous. Oh, and I feel as big as a barn already - which means I'll maybe feel like an airplane hanger before this is all done with? I'm carrying the Little Miss differently than I did the Little Man, but that can't be the reason that a 45-minute walk can put me down for the rest of the day, if not an entire weekend. Or that I'm already having to sleep with 5-6 pillows at night to support all the various aching body parts. I was looking forward to those lovely perks to start in a month or so, instead of now.

Damn, pregnancy is fun!