Here's the thing. I've been trying for 20 minutes to make this into a clever story, but it remains but a cute paragraph.
The Little Man goosed the waitress at dinner the other night. Actually made her jump. In front of his parents and Grandma, no less. Yep, that's my little ladies man.
See? That's all I got. The end.
Sunday, January 30, 2005
Thursday, January 27, 2005
Aghast
Oh. My. Goodness. I'm starting to get that panicy feeling again like you get when you just come back from the hospital with your child. You know the one that goes "What have I Done? I can't do this! I sometimes can't even get matching shoes on my feet in the morning, how did I think I was going to raise a child?"
Yesterday I came home to my child wearing his Halloween costume, which I had sent to the daycare as his backup outfit to be put on in case of emergency. "Emergency" normally consists of spit up or a diaper way too dirty for words, so normally it's not a cause for concern. However, when I asked Mr. Me what had happened, he said, "Wait until you hear what YOUR child did today". When he refers to the Little Man as "my" child, nothing good ever comes of it.
During nap-time yesterday at daycare, the daycare provider went into the nap room to discover the Little Man soaked and pantsless. Apparently he had painstakingly removed his sweatpants, unsnapped his onsie, and taken off his diaper, and proceeded to firehose the entire area. All without making a peep to clue the sitter in to the fact that anything was going on. Luckily the sitter took it all in good humor, even though she had to clean up the pee-soaked bed, bedding and floor.
I am aghast. And a little terrified. MY CHILD. IS A NUDIST. ALREADY. I expect forrays into nudity from a 2-year-old. I get that little kids just like to be naked. However, NOT at 10 1/2 months. If this is the kind of stuff he's pulling now, what actually does happen when he gets to be 2? Streaking through the neighborhood is a daily event? Will I be able to buy, make or even think of a piece of clothing that will keep Mr. Winkie covered? Egads, What have I DONE, having this little naked-loving child?
Maybe it was just a one-time experiment, to see if his little friend was still there when his clothes are on, and to see what he does for a living. Yeah. That's got to be it.
I'll be dressing him in overalls for the next several days anyway. Just in case.
Yesterday I came home to my child wearing his Halloween costume, which I had sent to the daycare as his backup outfit to be put on in case of emergency. "Emergency" normally consists of spit up or a diaper way too dirty for words, so normally it's not a cause for concern. However, when I asked Mr. Me what had happened, he said, "Wait until you hear what YOUR child did today". When he refers to the Little Man as "my" child, nothing good ever comes of it.
During nap-time yesterday at daycare, the daycare provider went into the nap room to discover the Little Man soaked and pantsless. Apparently he had painstakingly removed his sweatpants, unsnapped his onsie, and taken off his diaper, and proceeded to firehose the entire area. All without making a peep to clue the sitter in to the fact that anything was going on. Luckily the sitter took it all in good humor, even though she had to clean up the pee-soaked bed, bedding and floor.
I am aghast. And a little terrified. MY CHILD. IS A NUDIST. ALREADY. I expect forrays into nudity from a 2-year-old. I get that little kids just like to be naked. However, NOT at 10 1/2 months. If this is the kind of stuff he's pulling now, what actually does happen when he gets to be 2? Streaking through the neighborhood is a daily event? Will I be able to buy, make or even think of a piece of clothing that will keep Mr. Winkie covered? Egads, What have I DONE, having this little naked-loving child?
Maybe it was just a one-time experiment, to see if his little friend was still there when his clothes are on, and to see what he does for a living. Yeah. That's got to be it.
I'll be dressing him in overalls for the next several days anyway. Just in case.
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
Gone to Pot
For some reason, if one part of my life spins out of control, everything just seems to go to pot. The last four weeks have led to mounds and mounds of dirty laundry, clutter strewn about the house, a desk I can no longer see (both at home and at work), a car that is an absolute pit, and friends that I'm sure are ready to give me up for lost. I wish it were in my personality to go partly to pot. But no, I must do all or nothing.
I finally started to dig out over the weekend. My house is starting to shape back up, I'm feeling a little more in control at work, and everything is starting to settle down in general. This will keep up for about, oh, two weeks. Then I'll start getting lazy, and be able to use this same post again in another month. How very efficient of me!
I finally started to dig out over the weekend. My house is starting to shape back up, I'm feeling a little more in control at work, and everything is starting to settle down in general. This will keep up for about, oh, two weeks. Then I'll start getting lazy, and be able to use this same post again in another month. How very efficient of me!
Monday, January 24, 2005
The Good News Fairy
The Good News Fairy has visited today, hooray! My brother, PD, who has been improving wonderfully, actually will get out of the hospital on Thursday! He's likely going to gain 100% mental and physical function back, and I'm beside myself with relief and happiness. His doctors say it's amazing that he's going home at all, especially with an intellect above that of a 12-year-old. And in under a month! He's a super healer.
It's amazing to see him now - he's very close to being his old self. We sprung him from the hospital on a day pass on Sunday (who knew you could get a day pass from the hospital?) and took him shopping. He was so happy just to get OUT, he was in a great mood, and dealt with his pain and his wheelchair really well. He maneuvers his wheelchair well, too, using just his left foot. Really, it's just nice to be around him.
That sums it up, except for one thing . . .
A big shout out to PD's overactive guardian angel. May you have a long, well-deserved break.
It's amazing to see him now - he's very close to being his old self. We sprung him from the hospital on a day pass on Sunday (who knew you could get a day pass from the hospital?) and took him shopping. He was so happy just to get OUT, he was in a great mood, and dealt with his pain and his wheelchair really well. He maneuvers his wheelchair well, too, using just his left foot. Really, it's just nice to be around him.
That sums it up, except for one thing . . .
A big shout out to PD's overactive guardian angel. May you have a long, well-deserved break.
Friday, January 21, 2005
The Little Man
It occurs to me that with the crappy start to the New Year, and the long absence before that, I haven't devoted much time to the doings of the Little Man. This shall now be remedied!
For starters, the surgery went swimmingly. The worst part was trying to keep the Little Man occupied and quiet for two hours while waiting for them to come get him (we turned the faucet on and off in the bathroom for a full half-hour!). He was gone from my arms for exactly 20 minutes, including anesthesia, surgery and recovery. Unfortunately for us, one of the side effect options from the anesthesia was hyperactivity and Ding Ding Ding! That was our winner. He was a whirling dervish the rest of the day, but his eye has looked fabulous ever since, and he is cuter than ever, if I do say so myself.
This week alone he has learned to slither down stairs all by himself AND to drink from a straw. He says "kkkk" in a guttural German way for "kitty" and "ca" for "cat", always with an inflection that reminds me of Ken stuttering toward the end of A Fish Called Wanda. "Mama" and "Dada" also pop up repeated over and over, though never upon request. That Little Man knows how to do way too many things for my comfort, including shoot his father and I a dashing little grin over his shoulder as he continues on with whatever no-no activity he is engaged in. He's not yet walking, but stands alone if he's not thinking about it, so it likely won't be long. And Mr. Me and I will be SO TIRED once that happens.
Another recent, major Little Man milestone - he located his "little friend". In the bath, where little boys are wont to find it, with no diaper and all. It was amazing, watching the development of this burgeoning relationship. He was very still in his bath that day, with his hands mostly beneath the water, saying "howdy" to his newfound buddy. When he did start to play, every time he sat down from crawling or standing up, he'd reach down to make sure his friend was still there. Cracked me up way more than his dad, though.
The most amazing thing, however, is the super-powers he appears to be developing. He's almost 3 feet tall, and has stretch-Armstrong arms that can reach clear to the middle of my kitchen table to grab items of interest. He moves like Flash, especially toward forbidden areas like an open toilet bowl. And he has for several weeks now been perfecting an ear-shattering screech that will any day, I'm sure, shatter glass (or deafen dogs, I'm not sure which).
If he starts to develop x-ray vision or to fly, I'm buying some Kryptonite or there will be no disciplining this child at all.
For starters, the surgery went swimmingly. The worst part was trying to keep the Little Man occupied and quiet for two hours while waiting for them to come get him (we turned the faucet on and off in the bathroom for a full half-hour!). He was gone from my arms for exactly 20 minutes, including anesthesia, surgery and recovery. Unfortunately for us, one of the side effect options from the anesthesia was hyperactivity and Ding Ding Ding! That was our winner. He was a whirling dervish the rest of the day, but his eye has looked fabulous ever since, and he is cuter than ever, if I do say so myself.
This week alone he has learned to slither down stairs all by himself AND to drink from a straw. He says "kkkk" in a guttural German way for "kitty" and "ca" for "cat", always with an inflection that reminds me of Ken stuttering toward the end of A Fish Called Wanda. "Mama" and "Dada" also pop up repeated over and over, though never upon request. That Little Man knows how to do way too many things for my comfort, including shoot his father and I a dashing little grin over his shoulder as he continues on with whatever no-no activity he is engaged in. He's not yet walking, but stands alone if he's not thinking about it, so it likely won't be long. And Mr. Me and I will be SO TIRED once that happens.
Another recent, major Little Man milestone - he located his "little friend". In the bath, where little boys are wont to find it, with no diaper and all. It was amazing, watching the development of this burgeoning relationship. He was very still in his bath that day, with his hands mostly beneath the water, saying "howdy" to his newfound buddy. When he did start to play, every time he sat down from crawling or standing up, he'd reach down to make sure his friend was still there. Cracked me up way more than his dad, though.
The most amazing thing, however, is the super-powers he appears to be developing. He's almost 3 feet tall, and has stretch-Armstrong arms that can reach clear to the middle of my kitchen table to grab items of interest. He moves like Flash, especially toward forbidden areas like an open toilet bowl. And he has for several weeks now been perfecting an ear-shattering screech that will any day, I'm sure, shatter glass (or deafen dogs, I'm not sure which).
If he starts to develop x-ray vision or to fly, I'm buying some Kryptonite or there will be no disciplining this child at all.
Friday, January 14, 2005
Under the Knife
The Little Man goes in for surgery in just about 7 hours. It's a minor thing, but they still put him in a little hospital gown and knock his little ass out with Nitrus. Thus, we still have to withhold food from him for hours in advance, which I'm not looking forward to in about (eek!) 5 hours when he wakes up for his early-early morning bottle.
I'm nervous about this procedure, as you would be. Mr. Me maintains that they'd better be passing the Nitrus around to keep him settled. I'm not thinking I'll require chemical sedation necessarily, but I can't think about it too hard or I start to feel ooky. My father-in-law has been nice enough to volunteer to come in and set with us in the waiting room. So, it will be a well-attended little event in any case.
The Little Man should sleep or be drowsy for most of the day after the surgery. Can I say that I'm kind of looking forward to that part just a little? I know, this makes me a horrid parent, but as he's always so, so, SO busy, it'll be nice to have him quiet and cuddly for a day. And, he'll get eye drops we have to give him for 5 days that the Dr says will make him "sleepy". The thought of this just makes me smile. (Bad mommy!)
This will make the third hospital I've been in in the last 2 weeks, all as a visitor, thank goodness. I'm becoming quite adept in waiting rooms. I don't like that my life has included so much illness and trauma lately. But again, I much prefer being the carer than the care-ee.
Updates to come . . .
I'm nervous about this procedure, as you would be. Mr. Me maintains that they'd better be passing the Nitrus around to keep him settled. I'm not thinking I'll require chemical sedation necessarily, but I can't think about it too hard or I start to feel ooky. My father-in-law has been nice enough to volunteer to come in and set with us in the waiting room. So, it will be a well-attended little event in any case.
The Little Man should sleep or be drowsy for most of the day after the surgery. Can I say that I'm kind of looking forward to that part just a little? I know, this makes me a horrid parent, but as he's always so, so, SO busy, it'll be nice to have him quiet and cuddly for a day. And, he'll get eye drops we have to give him for 5 days that the Dr says will make him "sleepy". The thought of this just makes me smile. (Bad mommy!)
This will make the third hospital I've been in in the last 2 weeks, all as a visitor, thank goodness. I'm becoming quite adept in waiting rooms. I don't like that my life has included so much illness and trauma lately. But again, I much prefer being the carer than the care-ee.
Updates to come . . .
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
New Year Blues with a Possibility of Silver
It's been a crummy new year. Lots of hours at the hospital, the Little Man is starting to feel the stress and develop an overwhelming case of parental attachment. And I slid into a car in the ice the other day and the end result seems to be four-hundred-smackers. And there's stress at work. My office-mate and I have spent a large part of the last two weeks heaving heavy sighs.
However, my mother-in-law called today to let me know that my horoscope said I should have a good week. Apparently it runs from the middle of the week to the middle of the week, which is why there's no evidence of it yet. Not normally the call I would get from her, but I'll take what I can get. So, I fully expect an upturn starting tomorrow. Wish me luck!
However, my mother-in-law called today to let me know that my horoscope said I should have a good week. Apparently it runs from the middle of the week to the middle of the week, which is why there's no evidence of it yet. Not normally the call I would get from her, but I'll take what I can get. So, I fully expect an upturn starting tomorrow. Wish me luck!
Thursday, January 06, 2005
I'm a Hacker
My brother has been moved to a private room in a different part of the hospital, and lo! My uber-smart computer has hacked into some sort of wireless network here. So, I'm able to surf, blog and listen to my brother give his nurse hell.
He's awake and talking, a good thing. However, he's a very, very bad patient. He's offered to pay the nurse $1,000 to take the restraint off of his arm. One time they did that, he ripped the resperator out of his lungs. Another time he ripped the feeding tube out. So, his hand is remaining firmly restrained to the bed. The other arm is broken, or I'm sure he'd have used that one. He wants badly to leave. He tries to get out of bed about once every 30 minutes or so, which usually culminates in him banging his leg on the bed and yelling Ow! So, he's on 24-hour nursing care and a family member is staying with him day and night as well.
Unfortunately, he didn't escape his accident with just broken bones. They say he has some damage to his brain, though it's going to be months before it can be completely assessed. I tell you, I've laughed at Bill Cosby's "Brain Damage" bit time and again, and joked with people about riding the short bus, but these things are suddenly not so funny.
One of the results of the damage is that he says random, funny things like "I need a tarantula" or "reindeer". Other side effects include things that I think he would have done anyway, like call his nurse names and try to escape his bed, and yell "Ow! My Ass!" really loud. He doesn't know where he is, and thinks he is working on a lift the majority of the time. But, at least he knows his family, and there are brief periods of lucidity. And, though his condition isn't, and he can't help it, he is damn funny sometimes.
It's time to leave off, lest the hospital CIS police come to nab me. More news to come.
He's awake and talking, a good thing. However, he's a very, very bad patient. He's offered to pay the nurse $1,000 to take the restraint off of his arm. One time they did that, he ripped the resperator out of his lungs. Another time he ripped the feeding tube out. So, his hand is remaining firmly restrained to the bed. The other arm is broken, or I'm sure he'd have used that one. He wants badly to leave. He tries to get out of bed about once every 30 minutes or so, which usually culminates in him banging his leg on the bed and yelling Ow! So, he's on 24-hour nursing care and a family member is staying with him day and night as well.
Unfortunately, he didn't escape his accident with just broken bones. They say he has some damage to his brain, though it's going to be months before it can be completely assessed. I tell you, I've laughed at Bill Cosby's "Brain Damage" bit time and again, and joked with people about riding the short bus, but these things are suddenly not so funny.
One of the results of the damage is that he says random, funny things like "I need a tarantula" or "reindeer". Other side effects include things that I think he would have done anyway, like call his nurse names and try to escape his bed, and yell "Ow! My Ass!" really loud. He doesn't know where he is, and thinks he is working on a lift the majority of the time. But, at least he knows his family, and there are brief periods of lucidity. And, though his condition isn't, and he can't help it, he is damn funny sometimes.
It's time to leave off, lest the hospital CIS police come to nab me. More news to come.
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
New Year, New Post
Ahh, well, it's a new year, so it's probably time for a new post.
My first gift of the New Year, courtesy of my little brother, PD, starting at 1:30 AM on 1/1/05 has been countless hours spent in hospital waiting rooms. He has had yet another car wreck and has been unconscious and broken in a hospital bed for most of the week. Thank God, he has finally started to come out of it today, and thanks to PD himself, he is now devoid of many of the tubes and gadgets that made things look so very scary. (He decided to rip them out himself yesterday morning) He's not yet out of the woods, but he's made vast improvements the past day. To the point that he was actally able to utter "Ow, my ass" loud and clear when the nurse adjusted him in a way that didn't work out for him.
The second gift, courtesy of the first and, again, my little brother, is that I realize how very, very lucky I am to have all the little things I take for granted. Like health insurance, and a healthy, happy son, and a wonderful husband, and a nice warm home. And family, lots and lots of annoying, boisterous, loving family. And, most of all, no giant waves crashing through my home and leaving wreckage through my community and my country.
So, greetings, 2005. I'll do my very best to heed your first lessons and avoid hospitals as much as possible. Oh, yeah, and relish every precious moment, whether it's spent washing dishes, rocking my baby, or whatever my wonderful life dishes out.
My first gift of the New Year, courtesy of my little brother, PD, starting at 1:30 AM on 1/1/05 has been countless hours spent in hospital waiting rooms. He has had yet another car wreck and has been unconscious and broken in a hospital bed for most of the week. Thank God, he has finally started to come out of it today, and thanks to PD himself, he is now devoid of many of the tubes and gadgets that made things look so very scary. (He decided to rip them out himself yesterday morning) He's not yet out of the woods, but he's made vast improvements the past day. To the point that he was actally able to utter "Ow, my ass" loud and clear when the nurse adjusted him in a way that didn't work out for him.
The second gift, courtesy of the first and, again, my little brother, is that I realize how very, very lucky I am to have all the little things I take for granted. Like health insurance, and a healthy, happy son, and a wonderful husband, and a nice warm home. And family, lots and lots of annoying, boisterous, loving family. And, most of all, no giant waves crashing through my home and leaving wreckage through my community and my country.
So, greetings, 2005. I'll do my very best to heed your first lessons and avoid hospitals as much as possible. Oh, yeah, and relish every precious moment, whether it's spent washing dishes, rocking my baby, or whatever my wonderful life dishes out.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
