Odd People

Recently I've been encountering odd men. I don't know why, or what I've done to deserve this, but I wish I could figure it out so I would stop seeing these people.

For instance, I went to a pro football game on Sunday. This is not a normal occurrence for me - I make it out to the stadium about once every three years. And this guy - Semi-Drunk Sports Fanatic guy - is one of the big reasons why. He yells loudly at the refs and players throughout the game. Sometimes the yelling is profane, always it is loud and inappropriate (and unimaginative). He is offended by those like me and my girlfriends who choose to sit and watch the event without incurring laryngitis or bursting a blood vessel. He feels that it is his duty to clap us repeatedly on the shoulders and say "come on girls, we need you to get up and cheer", under the mistaken impression that this will incite some action from us other than a snow cone or drink tossed in his face. He is so involved with himself and his behavior that he doesn't even realize that his pronouncement that his wife doesn't like him very much shocks no one.

Then, there's this guy that works at the mail shop that I frequent. Nice guy, I've always enjoyed chatting with him, until he proved that he's a TMI guy. TMI guys are the unfortunate types that foster the impression that strangers in their vicinity give a shit about the details of the personal horrors that have befallen them. I was making polite small-talk with this man, and all of a sudden he launches into this saga about a recent colonoscopy gone wrong and how it landed him in the hospital. Why, oh why, would anyone think the inner-workings of their ass would be an acceptable topic of conversation? Maybe at a proctologist convention, but certainly not with a patron of your business.

So, note to strange guys: Leave Your Strangeness at Home! I'm sick of wrestling with whether I want to wring your neck with my bare hands or will the floor to suck me in. Enough already, people!